Corinne is Korean

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165,433 notes

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

I’ve been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

(via andquitefrankly)

185,467 notes

theladyofmisconduct:

trainhardbestrong:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

hannahroad:

Miley: “Dad I have something for Tanners bug collection”

my uncle: “that’s great”

Miley: “it’s a bird”

my uncle: “no its not”

-chirping noise-

image

They let it go and it flew away just fine, so we’re wondering how she caught it.

update:

she caught another bird.

image

update: she caught a squirrel today

image

She is gonna rule the world one day with this power

Is she a Disney princess?!

(via pocosun)

15,872 notes

the members of an orchestra

violins I:
we're the superstars fuck everyone else its all about us
violins II:
why do we always get the boring parts
flutes:
we're so lonely
piccolo:
lol fk your ears
french horns:
and im not even french hONHONHON BAGUETTE
oboes:
IM SORRY I TUNED BEFORE I SWEar
violas:
evERYONE ALWAYS FKUCING FRORGETS ABOUT US
trumpets:
wats 'p'
trombones:
wats quiet
cellos:
im either boring af or exciting af and there is no in between
bassoons:
im so posh but i really just honk like a truck
clarinet:
*squeaks*
timpani:
EVERYONE LOVES ME BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM
bass clarinet:
lol where am i
tuba:
*waits for a wagner piece to do something exciting*
harp:
im just a more sophisticated piano
piano:
FUCK YOU HARP I GET CONCERTOS WRITTEN FOR ME SCREW EVERYTHING WHO NEEDS AN ORCHESTRA WHEN YOU CAN PLAY EVERYTHING ON ME IM THE STAR OF EVERYTIHNG
english horn:
im literally only useful for dvorak's 9th like what am even i doing here
basses:
semibreves, tied to a semibreve, tied to a minim, tied to a crotchet, oh wait a quaver wow exciting ok back to semibreves
cornets:
trumpet wannabe
cymbals:
BOOM CRASH CRASH CRASH CRASH IM SRO HAPYP CRASH CRAHS
xylophones:
am i meant to be here?
triangles:
bass drum:
MY TIME TO SHINE FUCK YOU ALL

Filed under this is so accurate it hurts